Biblical Manhood

A healthy, biblically grounded understanding of authentic manhood is essential for Christian men. The concept of manhood in today’s culture often appears fragmented and confused, influenced by varying ideals, some of which stem from biblical principles but are diluted by worldly perspectives. As a follower of Christ, I must rely on Him as the ultimate picture of authentic manhood. He provides the perfect example of how to live, love, and lead, particularly in marriage and parenting. I am always encouraged when I am called or even pushed in following Jesus’s model that in turn helps me fulfill God’s call in my life, especially in my home, where I especially need to lead with humility, love, and dedication.

It is helpful to remember some of the concepts of authentic manhood by remembering key principles that start with the letter “C” such as: Commitment, Covenant, and Confession. Each of these concepts captures a vital aspect of biblical manhood, rooted in Scripture and perfectly demonstrated in Jesus’ life.

The first essential aspect of authentic manhood is commitment. In Ephesians 5:23, Paul writes, “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” 

My understanding is that this verse doesn’t imply dominance but rather calls husbands to be devoted leaders who prioritize their families’ spiritual well-being. True commitment is not merely a one-time vow but an ongoing devotion to guiding our families into godly worship, teaching them to love and revere God. In other words, commitment or being committed means taking the initiative in establishing regular family worship and Bible study times, demonstrating the importance of fellowship, prayer, and service. When children see their father’s devotion to God, they gain a model of faithfulness that can influence their own walk with Christ. 

The second word is covenant. Ephesians 5:25 reminds us, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” 

This is in my opinion one of the most profound expressions of sacrificial love in Scripture. It demonstrates Jesus’ love for His church which is steadfast, patient, and unfailing. This challenges me because it is calling me to honor my covenant with my wife, even in times of difficulty or discouragement. This covenant commitment reminds me that my marriage reflects Christ’s relationship with His church. Being in ministry I must be careful not to neglect my wife while serving others. A healthy marriage nurtures a healthy ministry. A fellow pastor reminded me that a church cannot be healthy if led by leaders who do not have healthy marriages speaks to this truth. When we invest in our marriages, we not only honor our wives but also honor God and strengthen our witness as leaders.

The final word is confession. James 5:16 says, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” 

Authentic manhood requires humility, especially in marriage and parenting. It is crucial for men to admit their faults, seek forgiveness, and model humility before their wives and children. Confession is about being transparent, honest, and humble enough to acknowledge when we fall short.

A pastor friend of mine gave this great insight about the importance of reconciliation within the family which emphasizes this principle. He suggested starting by coming before the Lord to address pride and cultivate a spirit of humility. This process fosters a healthy environment in the home, where forgiveness and reconciliation are encouraged, and grudges or anger are not allowed to fester. By modeling confession and humility, we as fathers and husbands can teach our children the importance of seeking God’s forgiveness and making peace with others.

I’m often tempted to avoid vulnerability, seeing it as weakness. However, Scripture shows that true strength lies in humility and the willingness to repent. Proverbs 28:13 says, “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.” In other words, confession is foundational to building and sustaining healthy relationships and is essential for a strong marriage rooted in biblical values.

I write this not as someone who has mastered these principles, but as someone who is learning often slowly how desperately I need God’s grace to live them out. Even though I wrote this, I don’t practice it perfectly. I’ve tried, with more failure than I want to admit. But I believe that God honors our striving when it is grounded in faith, humility, and dependence on Him.